5 feminist conversations i'm over

I have issues with "feminism" and somedays I am definitely 100% radical feminist and other days, I'm definitely over it. I did the women's studies degree, wrote the papers, marched at "take back the night," had the midwife when I was pregnant, etc etc etc. But now here I am writing for a feminist blog about feminist issues. I know right? What the hell am I doing? The few blogs that I've done so far have been "lamesha light," my attempt at making a good impression and not pissing off a whole bunch of people I don't even know. I don't want to insult you by writing about shit you already do and know about (washable pads, consent, etc) which I think is a little overdone. So today, for the first time, I'm going to attempt to go hardcore and write about the stupid shit I see and hear in my "feminist life" that piss me the fuck off. Hopefully you won't be offended, but if you are, I don't care. LOL

1. Chris Brown hating. We know he beat Rihanna's ass. How many years ago was that? He's done everything he has to do legal wise, and is trying to go back to work. Are we just supposed to hate him the rest of his life for something he did as a teenager? How long are we supposed to watch him squirm? He's 21, so what 60 more years? Have you ever got in a fight with someone? I know assault isn't right and hitting women is a sin but let's not forget Snoop's murder trial, R Kelly peeing on some little girl and videotaping it, Michael Jackson and those little boys, Woody Allen marrying his own daughter, John Mayer's racist dick in Playboy and overtime, those men have still prospered and everyone loves them. We don't even talk about this anymore, but Chris Brown you think should rot in hell? Let that shit go. That nigga is sorry. It's not good to spend so much time worrying about celebrities anyway.

2. "How can we get more women of color to come to our white girl feminist functions? They must not care about these issues..." and "Why aren't more women of color breastfeeding or marching or making zines?" I could go at the this one several different ways. First I am not a woman of color. I'm black. African American. Voodoo priestess. Shawty. But I refuse to be lumped in a non-white category with every other non-white woman on Earth. We aren't the minority and we are all very different; making us one category robs us of our culture. And then asking us why we don't come to your white girl feminist parties and speakers? Are you serious? Maybe we need a break from you. There's a million reasons why black and brown people don't embrace "feminism" the way white girls want us to, and I'm not going to list them all here. Just stop asking me about it. I'm not your gateway into black womanhood.

3. "porn oppresses women. prostitution is a crime. both are violence against women". ummm no.

4. We're not "women," we're "womyn/wimmin" (or some other spelling that drives my spellcheck crazy). This is stupid. We all know what you are. You aren't really causing a paradigm shift by spelling your gender differently. You're mostly just being annoying.

5. "Courtney Love. Assuming black and brown women don't like to rock out". Last week Courtney Love made an ass of herself (not the first time) in DC by pulling a black girl on stage and asking, "Do you really like rock music? Because you're African American. That would be like me being into Lil Wayne". Look that shit up. It seriously happened. Then I started thinking about all the girl bands I listen to and yeah most of them are white. I don't hate them, I actually think they're quite good, but yeah they are all white, which doesn't really mean anything, it's just interesting to think about, for a lot of reasons. Black girls rock out hardcore. Can you name 5 black rocker girls? I can't, but there are hundreds of them. I think. When you see us, don't point and stare and pull us on stage. That's seriously fucked up.

6. "Fuck these patriarchal beauty standards". I hear you loud and clear, but women wearing pink and glitter and heels are not the enemy. And believe it or not, a whole bunch of women LIKE wearing that shit. We are not dumb, less feminist or watered down because of it. A long time ago when I was in undergrad I walked up to my feminist friends sitting in the grass and they started talking about my pink backless shirt and how their own clothes weren't so "cutesy," then it got awkward so I left and one of them said "see you later Blossom". Do you remember that show? I loved it. But that's not the point. The point is that my "friend" snuck a little snide comment in front of our all of our other friends simply because I like dressing up. And that was at least 8 years ago and I still remember everything about that day. Feminism is not about laughing at other girls and making them feel insecure. Especially over something as trivial as clothes. Remember you are pro-choice. Respect my choice to wear booty shorts.

And that's it. For now...

Book Review- Commencement

"Take Mary McCarthy's The Group, add a new feminist generation striving to understand everything from themselves and their mothers to the notion of masculinity that fuels sex trafficking, and you get this generous-hearted, brave first novel. Commencement makes clear that the feminist revolution is just beginning."

-Gloria Steinem 

What's a blog without a good ol' book review every now and then? Now that the semester is over, it's summer, and I've had a little bit more free-time on my hands, I've finally gotten around to finishing J. Courtney Sullivan's debut novel, Commencement. I really enjoyed this book, it's a great and easy summer read that also manages to have a moving storyline and important message. It has a very different feel to it from the typical "chick lit" (a term that I despise, might I add) that most of us are used to. This is not another romance novel focused solely on attractive men and the women who are desperate to find them and get married, not at all, this novel thankfully goes a lot deeper then that. This is a novel about young feminists, everlasting sisterhood, and the choices and challenges that face women today; from the small stuff like whether or not to change your last name when getting married, to the much bigger problems like rape and sex trafficking, this novel seems to cover it all.

The novel follows Celia, Bree, Sally, and April, classmates their first year at Smith College who couldn't be more different. Alone and together, they soon learn that Smith is a hothouse: of sexual discovery, political activism, female bonding, and carbohydrates eaten with abandon. And although several years after graduation they live far apart, their Smith years have left them fiercely devoted to one another. Schooled in the ideals of feminism, they must decide how it all applies to their real lives in matters of love, work, family, and sex.

The deep sense of sisterhood in this book had to be my favorite part about it. Reading this novel makes you truly appreciate your female best friends, or if you don't have any, long for girls you can care for that much and be that close to. J. Courtney Sullivan does such a great job of describing the girls, that throughout reading the novel you really feel as if you are friends with them! I found myself worrying about them when things went wrong, and then happy for them when it all went right again. Finishing the novel is somewhat bittersweet, because the ending leaves you hanging a bit, and you miss hearing about what's going on in each of the girls lives. 

I definitely recommend this novel to all who enjoy books about feminism and sisterhood, but also just to anyone looking for a good, moving, summer read. The novel starts out a little slow, but then there is a big twist halfway through that will keep you interested and have you staying up late just to get to the next page. I plan on reading more books by J. Courtney Sullivan in the near future, I really enjoy her writing now. 

You can find out where to buy the book, as well as more on J. Courtney Sullivan and Commencement here.

Grrrl Zines!

Obviously I'm really into feminist and riot grrrl blogs, there are a handful that I read pretty much every morning with my cup of coffee (most of which you can find linked over on the left side of this page). But recently I have wanted to begin reading feminist and riot grrrl zines as well. A zine is a self-published work of minority interest usually reproduced by photocopier. Most zines are produced in editions of less than 100, and profit is not the primary intent of publication. If you are well-read on the riot grrrl movement of the 90's, you are probably aware that it encouraged an explosion of explicit and confrontational zines about women in music and the media, feminism, and gender issues.

The truth is that there are still plenty of girls continuing to make those types of zines today. I find that really awesome because most people think that with the growth of the internet zines became obsolete, but it's cool to see that they still have a decent underground following. Nowadays if someone has something they want to say and others to hear they can just make their own website or blog about it (shit, that's what we did!), but zines have a real sense of dedication and creativity that a webpage can't compete with.

I know for me, when I first decided to start to read zines, I had no idea where to find the kinds I was interested in. I knew there were girls out there making them, but I didn't know where to look to actually find and purchase them. So in case some of you are interested but are going through the same thing, I'm going to use this post to promote and link you guys to a few feminist/riot grrrl zines that I have recently checked out and am totally excited to buy and read as soon as I can (I know they are all super cheap, but give me a break here, I'm currently jobless and beyond broke!). I've talked to a few of these girls online before, and I must say they are some amazing and intelligent women, so I know their zines will not disappoint.

• Zines by Jolie Noggle

• Zines by Ivana Stab

• Zines by Clementine Cannibal

The last lady I linked to, Clementine Cannibal, is looking for submissions for her compilation zine of writings by grrrls called "I knew a motherfucker like you and she said...". You can read all about this zine and what kinds of writings she is looking for here. If you feel inspired and have something to say, you definitely should participate and send a piece her way. I'm pretty sure I'm going to myself, which I have to get started on. All submissions should be sent to: lickingstarsoffceilings@hotmail.com

If you write your own feminist/riot grrrl zine, or just read some awesome ones, please tell us about them and where we can purchase them in the comments!