5 feminist conversations i'm over

I have issues with "feminism" and somedays I am definitely 100% radical feminist and other days, I'm definitely over it. I did the women's studies degree, wrote the papers, marched at "take back the night," had the midwife when I was pregnant, etc etc etc. But now here I am writing for a feminist blog about feminist issues. I know right? What the hell am I doing? The few blogs that I've done so far have been "lamesha light," my attempt at making a good impression and not pissing off a whole bunch of people I don't even know. I don't want to insult you by writing about shit you already do and know about (washable pads, consent, etc) which I think is a little overdone. So today, for the first time, I'm going to attempt to go hardcore and write about the stupid shit I see and hear in my "feminist life" that piss me the fuck off. Hopefully you won't be offended, but if you are, I don't care. LOL

1. Chris Brown hating. We know he beat Rihanna's ass. How many years ago was that? He's done everything he has to do legal wise, and is trying to go back to work. Are we just supposed to hate him the rest of his life for something he did as a teenager? How long are we supposed to watch him squirm? He's 21, so what 60 more years? Have you ever got in a fight with someone? I know assault isn't right and hitting women is a sin but let's not forget Snoop's murder trial, R Kelly peeing on some little girl and videotaping it, Michael Jackson and those little boys, Woody Allen marrying his own daughter, John Mayer's racist dick in Playboy and overtime, those men have still prospered and everyone loves them. We don't even talk about this anymore, but Chris Brown you think should rot in hell? Let that shit go. That nigga is sorry. It's not good to spend so much time worrying about celebrities anyway.

2. "How can we get more women of color to come to our white girl feminist functions? They must not care about these issues..." and "Why aren't more women of color breastfeeding or marching or making zines?" I could go at the this one several different ways. First I am not a woman of color. I'm black. African American. Voodoo priestess. Shawty. But I refuse to be lumped in a non-white category with every other non-white woman on Earth. We aren't the minority and we are all very different; making us one category robs us of our culture. And then asking us why we don't come to your white girl feminist parties and speakers? Are you serious? Maybe we need a break from you. There's a million reasons why black and brown people don't embrace "feminism" the way white girls want us to, and I'm not going to list them all here. Just stop asking me about it. I'm not your gateway into black womanhood.

3. "porn oppresses women. prostitution is a crime. both are violence against women". ummm no.

4. We're not "women," we're "womyn/wimmin" (or some other spelling that drives my spellcheck crazy). This is stupid. We all know what you are. You aren't really causing a paradigm shift by spelling your gender differently. You're mostly just being annoying.

5. "Courtney Love. Assuming black and brown women don't like to rock out". Last week Courtney Love made an ass of herself (not the first time) in DC by pulling a black girl on stage and asking, "Do you really like rock music? Because you're African American. That would be like me being into Lil Wayne". Look that shit up. It seriously happened. Then I started thinking about all the girl bands I listen to and yeah most of them are white. I don't hate them, I actually think they're quite good, but yeah they are all white, which doesn't really mean anything, it's just interesting to think about, for a lot of reasons. Black girls rock out hardcore. Can you name 5 black rocker girls? I can't, but there are hundreds of them. I think. When you see us, don't point and stare and pull us on stage. That's seriously fucked up.

6. "Fuck these patriarchal beauty standards". I hear you loud and clear, but women wearing pink and glitter and heels are not the enemy. And believe it or not, a whole bunch of women LIKE wearing that shit. We are not dumb, less feminist or watered down because of it. A long time ago when I was in undergrad I walked up to my feminist friends sitting in the grass and they started talking about my pink backless shirt and how their own clothes weren't so "cutesy," then it got awkward so I left and one of them said "see you later Blossom". Do you remember that show? I loved it. But that's not the point. The point is that my "friend" snuck a little snide comment in front of our all of our other friends simply because I like dressing up. And that was at least 8 years ago and I still remember everything about that day. Feminism is not about laughing at other girls and making them feel insecure. Especially over something as trivial as clothes. Remember you are pro-choice. Respect my choice to wear booty shorts.

And that's it. For now...