July 6, 2010

5 feminist conversations i'm over

Feminist Pictures, Images and Photos

I have issues with "feminism" and somedays I am definitely 100% radical feminist and other days, I'm definitely over it. I did the women's studies degree, wrote the papers, marched at "take back the night," had the midwife when I was pregnant, etc etc etc. But now here I am writing for a feminist blog about feminist issues. I know right? What the hell am I doing? The few blogs that I've done so far have been "lamesha light," my attempt at making a good impression and not pissing off a whole bunch of people I don't even know. I don't want to insult you by writing about shit you already do and know about (washable pads, consent, etc) which I think is a little overdone. So today, for the first time, I'm going to attempt to go hardcore and write about the stupid shit I see and hear in my "feminist life" that piss me the fuck off. Hopefully you won't be offended, but if you are, I don't care. LOL

1. Chris Brown hating. We know he beat Rihanna's ass. How many years ago was that? He's done everything he has to do legal wise, and is trying to go back to work. Are we just supposed to hate him the rest of his life for something he did as a teenager? How long are we supposed to watch him squirm? He's 21, so what 60 more years? Have you ever got in a fight with someone? I know assault isn't right and hitting women is a sin but let's not forget Snoop's murder trial, R Kelly peeing on some little girl and videotaping it, Michael Jackson and those little boys, Woody Allen marrying his own daughter, John Mayer's racist dick in Playboy and overtime, those men have still prospered and everyone loves them. We don't even talk about this anymore, but Chris Brown you think should rot in hell? Let that shit go. That nigga is sorry. It's not good to spend so much time worrying about celebrities anyway.

2. "How can we get more women of color to come to our white girl feminist functions? They must not care about these issues..." and "Why aren't more women of color breastfeeding or marching or making zines?" I could go at the this one several different ways. First I am not a woman of color. I'm black. African American. Voodoo priestess. Shawty. But I refuse to be lumped in a non-white category with every other non-white woman on Earth. We aren't the minority and we are all very different; making us one category robs us of our culture. And then asking us why we don't come to your white girl feminist parties and speakers? Are you serious? Maybe we need a break from you. There's a million reasons why black and brown people don't embrace "feminism" the way white girls want us to, and I'm not going to list them all here. Just stop asking me about it. I'm not your gateway into black womanhood.
feminist Pictures, Images and Photos

3. "porn oppresses women. prostitution is a crime. both are violence against women". ummm no.

4. We're not "women," we're "womyn/wimmin" (or some other spelling that drives my spellcheck crazy). This is stupid. We all know what you are. You aren't really causing a paradigm shift by spelling your gender differently. You're mostly just being annoying.
Annoying Pictures, Images and Photos

5. "Courtney Love. Assuming black and brown women don't like to rock out". Last week Courtney Love made an ass of herself (not the first time) in DC by pulling a black girl on stage and asking, "Do you really like rock music? Because you're African American. That would be like me being into Lil Wayne". Look that shit up. It seriously happened. Then I started thinking about all the girl bands I listen to and yeah most of them are white. I don't hate them, I actually think they're quite good, but yeah they are all white, which doesn't really mean anything, it's just interesting to think about, for a lot of reasons. Black girls rock out hardcore. Can you name 5 black rocker girls? I can't, but there are hundreds of them. I think. When you see us, don't point and stare and pull us on stage. That's seriously fucked up.

6. "Fuck these patriarchal beauty standards". I hear you loud and clear, but women wearing pink and glitter and heels are not the enemy. And believe it or not, a whole bunch of women LIKE wearing that shit. We are not dumb, less feminist or watered down because of it. A long time ago when I was in undergrad I walked up to my feminist friends sitting in the grass and they started talking about my pink backless shirt and how their own clothes weren't so "cutesy," then it got awkward so I left and one of them said "see you later Blossom". Do you remember that show? I loved it. But that's not the point. The point is that my "friend" snuck a little snide comment in front of our all of our other friends simply because I like dressing up. And that was at least 8 years ago and I still remember everything about that day. Feminism is not about laughing at other girls and making them feel insecure. Especially over something as trivial as clothes. Remember you are pro-choice. Respect my choice to wear booty shorts.
feminist Pictures, Images and Photos

And that's it. For now...


  1. I really loved this entry for many different reasons, thanks Lamesha! I would consider myself to be a pretty radical feminist as well, but I also have days when I'm definitely "over" feminism. It sucks, but it happens. Usually it happens on days when I experience an overabundance of girl-on-girl hate and holier-than-thou attitudes coming from other self-proclaimed feminists. :-( But I try to not let that get me down about the movement as a whole, I know that there are negative-nancies and rude-extremists in every group, but that doesn't mean that the group as a whole is inherently bad. Gotta stay positive!

    Anyways, to touch on a few of the points that you made that in your entry...
    I don't really like Courtney Love much at all. In fact, I kind of despise her. :-x And this often angers many of the feminists and riot grrrls that I meet, but I just can't help it! Sure her music is awesome and I really enjoy listening to it, and she is an unapologetic bad-ass female- which is great, but she just does and says sooo many things that I can't stand behind. The incident you mentioned definitely being on of those things. As well as her assaults on Kathleen Hanna, Kristin King, and Mary Lou Lord (and maybe some others?). As much as she talks about girl-love, I seem to see a lot of girl-hate coming from her instead. I don't knowww, man. :-/

    Also, there are plenty of black women in rock music! Just because they aren't as "mainstreamed" doesn't mean they don't exist! Saying they can't possibly like the music simply because of the color of their skin is completely ridiculous! Shame on you, Courtney Love. Sure I would like to see more black women in rock music, that's true, but fuck- I would like to see more women in general in rock music! And of all races and ethnicities. Black women, Indian women, Asian women- I want them all to embrace rock music more and feel like it is a safe place for them as well.

    But Poly Styrene of the very influential punk band of the 70's, X-Ray Spex, was a black woman, and the song below was said to have pretty much pioneered the riot grrrl movement!

    Also, The Noisettes!! There is noo fucking way you can listen to this fierce garage rock band and then say black women can't rock out. Yeah right.

    Also when it comes to patriarchal beauty standards, I hate them as much as the next feminist, but judging women because they choose to take part in some or all of them is not okay ever! There is nothing wrong with shaving your legs, wearing dresses, or makeup, and it doesn't make you any less of a feminist by doing so. Like you said, it's all about making your own CHOICES. But I do think it's important for all of us to at least be aware of why these traditions started- which is sexism at it's finest.

    Sorry this was so long, I love a great blog entry that leaves room for a healthy discussion. ;-)
    Keep it going, grrrl. <3

  2. all i have to say is hells yeah to the 5th power and fuck a courtney love.....

  3. I really liked this!
    And I understand what you mean about watching what you say in your blog and trying not to offend people. But in the end its your blog and you can say whatever you damn well please :D

  4. i also love this post!!! hell yeah for being unapologetically you. and number 2 about how can we get more women of color to come to our white girl feminist functions reminds me of something i was thinking about writing for my zine. kinda along the lines of if black girls, latino girls, asian girls, ect. even want US (meaning white girl feminists like myself) fighting for them. i mean it's not our fight, so do they want us there fighting for them? or no because we really don't have the same experience? maybe i'm not getting the point across, but do you as a black girl, want me as a white girl, fighting for you to have equal access to healthcare, education, ect? or do you see it more like why am i trying so hard to fight for you, when i have it so much easier just being a white woman? does this make sense?

    basically it's like do you want us there? alongside you for the fight? or would you rather we not fight for things we know nothing about?

  5. Great post. I think I know you.....well 'internet' know you. Do you have a tumblr account? My only blogger blog is strictly a personal style blog but I am eager to use my brain and I'd love to connect with you again. Hit me up.

  6. oh wow, my friend amy was reading this and i just realized that i had five comments. wow. thanks for responding everyone.

    kellyrose- what up girl. we're all women, we basically have the same struggles (i think) but the reasons why we do are different but hell yeah anything you can do to help me out, do it. like advocating for "women of color" or speaking out against health disparities or racial profiling or whatever. i'll do the same for you. you're my girl. thanks for reading my shit.

    onika- i totally remember you from myspace. i'll find you on here or facebook or tumblr but no i don't have a tumblr blog.

    hey valerie- thanks again for letting me write on here and setting this all up. <3


  7. Hi! I found this post through a l'allure garconierre and just wanted to say I thought it was awesome! (Not least because it made me laugh) #4 really annoys me, too...and #6. Anyway, thanks for writing this. That's all, really.
    -Andi x

  8. Great post. Fuck Courtney Love, I knew there were real reasons I didn't like her besides her not being a very good musician.