September 2, 2010

riding the red river

I know a lot of men. Tons of them. Football players, military snipers, captains, sergeants, basketball players, pierced ones, black ones, white ones, old ones, young ones (not too young, i'm not trying to go to jail), professionals, medical doctors, heck I even birthed a boy. I know men. If you know me, you know that about me. And I've been officially "boy crazy" since I was about 16 or 17.
Isma Pictures, Images and Photos

boy crazy Pictures, Images and Photos

But I am troubled. And Confused.

leinde Pictures, Images and Photos

Most of these men, with varying degrees of frequency, brag about their brawn, strength, mental abilities, how much better they are at everything than a girl is (usually me), how much more "productive" they would be if they were the stay at home parent (good luck breastfeeding, my friend), how many guys they tackled in football, how many people they have shot, how many bullet wounds they have, how much bigger, stronger, taller they are, how their upper body strength is nearly three times that of mine, how hard they can fuck me, how they can open stuff I can't open (pickle jars, etc). If you are reading this blog, you're probably a woman and hear the same shit day after day after day. We are supposedly the "weaker" sex.

Here's the kicker though: Tell any of these guys you're on your period and they run screaming in the opposite direction. Like what? Not like a girl, because we can handle it, they scream like the little boys that they are. It's blood. It's not war or American football or another guy pointing a gun at your head, it's a bloody vagina. It's not even bleeding all that much, and it's doing what it's supposed to do. Duh. Wouldn't it be more scary if we were telling you we were pregnant?

Rag Pictures, Images and Photos

Trying to convince most men that you're still the same woman and therefore still have a libido while you are on your period is probably the hardest thing on Earth. It's dirty, it smells funny, they can see it, it's gross, etc etc etc. But here's how dumb guys are:

1. Chlamydia is on the rise. It has no symptoms. Any other week, they'd probably be more than willing to stick their face down there with their mouth open. I'm not asking for all that. I'm being honest with you. I TOLD YOU I was bleeding. Unprotected oral sex is ok but safe vaginal sex with a little blood is bad? One is way dirtier than the other.

2. How does it feel different? It should probably feel better because this way we're lubed up. Guys are impatient and not the best at foreplay. The blood will make us wetter and more relaxed.

3. Orgasms help relieve cramps. Why wouldn't you want to help your sexual partner relieve some of her pain if you could?

Superman Pictures, Images and Photos

4. Cumming on our faces is "beautiful" but you wearing a condom and "riding the red river" is disgusting? Total double standard.

5. Guys have no room to complain about anything stinking.

But it's not a lost cause. Once I was dating this guy who was extra cool because he had a Prince Albert piercing. He came over and I was just laying around being whiny about my cramps and he says "we should probably have sex then to ease your pain a little bit right? That'll help you out a lot". And seriously my face just fell on the floor. It was one of the sweetest things anyone's ever offered to do for me; help take the pain away, and accept all of me. But that was an isolated incident. Who knows where that guy is now, but he was an angel.

Angel boy Pictures, Images and Photos

I'm trying to convince my current boyfriend that we cannot plan our visits (we're in a long distance relationship) around my bleeding because it's stupid and my life continues to happen whether I'm bleeding or not. He argues that he can help me by bringing me pills and giving me alone time. No one has won yet, and he's still a bloody virgin. ha ha.

If you are having sex with a boy, ask him about period sex, let me know what he says. Maybe that'll help me out.

also this video made me very happy.


  1. what's funny is that i'm pretty sure my man is totally down for it- i'm the one who isn't!

  2. That's interesting. I probably wouldn't want to on my heaviest day, but at the beginning or end, I'd be all for it.

  3. the boy i screw most frequently is totally fine with it. i usually say no because it's messy, and while he may be willing to fuck a bloody cunt, i'm the one who will be cleaning up afterwards (it's women's work, right?) i'll launder the sheets, towels, wipe up the hardwood floor, untangle my blood-matted hair all by myself (we're, um, active), and he'll watch and get a hard on. and to me, that's bullshit. especially if he came and i didn't, because his dick is fine with the bloody, but he's not going in with tongue, so i'm left hanging.

    if it's light, like the first day or last couple days, and it's not gonna be big clean up, it's a non-issue. i usually spot for a few days before i bleed, and sex will hurry up and get the show on the road, so usually he's the one who let's me know i got my period. laying in a sweaty heap, he'll say, "you're bleeding". i'll say, "cool", put my fingers in my cunt, and smear blood on his chest and say, "i own you, you know."